Many thanks to John Willett for his contributions to these pages.
Origin Story I
The Diazo Brothers were discovered by professional golfer, Chi Chi Rodriguez, during a ProAm Tour being held at Vancouver's Shaughnessy Golf & Country Club.
Chi Chi Rodriguez and the Shaughnessy Golf & Country Club
Chi Chi was setting-up for a long, difficult putt when he noticed an ornate mahogany armoire standing just off the 11th green.
After stopping play and calling attention to the unusual object, Chi Chi walked over, opened the armoire, and discovered the 11 Diazo Brothers abandoned inside.
Chi Chi stopping play on the 11th green
Each brother was thought to be around 11 months old. And, after exhaustive testing, it was confirmed they were, in fact, the world's only known set of 11 identical twins.
Chi Chi decided to pull out of that season's ProAm tour and took on the demanding responsibility of adopting all the Diazo Brothers.
Chi Chi proved to be a devoted and caring father. He was respected and loved by all the brothers, and they grew up strong & healthy, and experienced a mostly normal childhood.
However, the time finally came for them to leave home and make their own way in life.
They did everything together and tried various occupations, including a taxi driver, short order cook, TV weatherman, and so on.
But, having 11 brothers driving the same taxi or simultaneously presenting the TV weather was slightly awkward, and they enjoyed little success at their jobs.
Finally, the brothers hit upon the idea of pursuing a musical career, even though they had absolutely no musical talent.
The Diazo Brothers Band was born!
They soon had their first gig, performing aboard the BC Ferries Bowen Queen, as the ship's cruise band.
Bowen Queen BC Ferries
But, as fate would have it, a severe storm struck the ship during their first voyage and the brothers were swept overboard.
Miraculously, they all survived several weeks adrift at sea and were eventually found washed-up on the shores of Spanish Mombasa on the east coast of Africa.
Spanish Mombasa Google Maps
The brothers were taken in and cared for by the kindly Northern Dinka people, who also adopted them, legally exercising joint custody with Chi Chi Rodriguez.
After regaining their health and recovering from the trauma of their days at sea, the brothers returned to performing, and the band went on to international fame and success.
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The Diazo Machine
Located in the middle of the design department on the second floor of the CBC building in Vancouver was, The Diazo Machine, a free-standing commercial blueprint machine costing thousands of dollars and used by all the set designers.
Example of a (simpler) blueprint machine Not "The" diazo machine
While making blueprint copies of floor plans and production drawings, set designers would stand in front of the machine patiently waiting for each copy to finish printing.
The original drawings were large, and the diazo printing process was slow, sometimes taking a couple of minutes per page.
A diazo and a blueprint are not the same thing, but the terms are interchangeable. The blueprint process, originally introduced in 1842, was replaced by the diazo (whiteprint) process in the 1940's. The diazo process is simpler and involves fewer toxic chemicals.
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Origin Story II
During the NABET strike of 1981, the only television production taking place at CBC Vancouver was the nightly news. Even so, all the designers (CUPE members) were compelled to cross the NABET picket lines and report for work.
For those not assigned to the nightly news, it was a boring time, so management came up will all types of odd ball, make-work projects to keep the designers "busy".
John Willett was given the (time wasting) assignment of designing and drawing up the plans for a new (and totally unnecessary) camera dolly.
One day, while John was printing copies of his drawings on the diazo machine, a belt on the paper-handling rollers began to slip, creating a repetitious "clacking" sound.
The machine still worked fine, but it was noisy. And, during the long wait for prints to finish, John started tapping on the diazo machine, in time to the clacking beat.
Because the machine was located in the middle of the department, the clacking and tapping was audible to all the other designers, and it wasn’t long before accompanying tapping, banging, and other sounds were heard coming from the cubicles of Glenn Patterson, Ray Mah, and Gary Ferguson.
As the noise became louder and more irritating, Lawrence Collettrequested that they "keep it down". Which, of course, had the opposite effect.
Everyone had a good laugh and, when John finished printing, that was the end of it.
Until... the next day... when Steve Geaghan was at the diazo machine and the same clacking sound started up again.
All the tapping and banging from the surrounding cubicles also started up again. And, with more designers joining in, it was even louder than before.
Bob Lawson came in to see what all the noise was about and, instead of shutting us down, suggested we form an orchestra.
Bob was just joking, of course, and would soon come to regret making that suggestion.
Over time, all this tapping and banging started sounding pretty good, even musical, and soon designers began to gather around the diazo machine, tapping and banging on it with the various objects they’d bring from their offices.
The Diazo Brothers Band was born!
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Brothers From Other Departments
The band was an unlikely combination of (what can generously be described as) untalented musicians, comedians, and performance artists.
It was initially made up of a small group of CBC designers, but quickly expanded to include members from other departments, like props, scenic art, staging, and so on.
The band also began playing home-made instruments constructed of large cardboard tubes, one-gallon paint cans, flexible plastic hoses, drafting brushes, metal rulers, and anything else "designer-ish" that could be used to make music.
Of course, the centerpiece of the band was the diazo machine.
The Diazo Brothers started holding regular lunch-time rehearsals, and would stand or dance around the diazo machine while performing and playing their instruments.
The diazo machine itself was a formidable musical instrument. Its various metal surfaces could produce a wide range of lovely sounds when hit with bare hands, drafting brushes, paint-mixing sticks, vibrating metal rulers, and so on.
Band Members
Peter Ahrens (graphics)
Big Bear (staging)
James Blake (scenic art)
Gary Ferguson (sets)
Floyd Gillis (graphics)
Wayne Hildebrandt (graphics)
Fritz Hunrath (staging/vacform)
Linda (public relations)
Kim MacKenzie (props)
Ray Mah (graphics)
Glenn Patterson (graphics)
John Rix (graphics)
Sharon Romero (graphics)
John Willett (sets)
The Diazo Brothers Band owed much of its success to the hard work and craziness of John Willett, Glenn Patterson, Ray Mah, and Kim MacKenzie. John was the "front man" for the band and did most of the talking on stage and during interviews.
I was there from the beginning, (as a minor member), and made sure to take part in as many performances, rehearsals, and shenanigans as possible.
Going Pro
The band's first "gig" was at a staff event held in one of the big studios on the lower level of the CBC building. The diazo machine was unplugged and carefully loaded into the elevator for the trip downstairs, along with all the band's other “instruments”.
They were a hit, and it wasn’t long before the brothers were asked to perform again.
One of our first "off site" performances was for a retirement luncheon hosted by Gordon Craig at the Vancouver Rowing Club. Gordon invited the band to perform after Bob Lawson brought him in to hear us.
What started out, really, as a joke, grew in popularity to the point where the band was regularly booked to perform at various venues and events in and around Vancouver, including appearances on radio and TV.
Of course, performances were scheduled only on weekends or after hours because the diazo machine had to be secretly removed from the design department, transported to the event, then carefully returned before management realized it was gone.
It was risky transporting that expensive piece of hardware around the city and keeping it from getting damaged, not to mention we were continually banging on it with various objects as part of each performance.
Well, it wasn’t long before management discovered that CBC's one and only diazo machine was continually being spirited away “on tour”, and an immediate halt was put on it being moved, or even "played" in the design department.
The Diazo Brothers Band was forced into an extended hiatus.
Divine Intervention
By some great fortune, Glenn or Ray came upon an exact duplicate of CBC's diazo machine being discarded by a local business, (Behnsen Graphic Supplies). It could no longer make blueprints and wasn't worth repairing, so the band was permitted to take possession, (remove the garbage), at no cost.
It didn't matter if it couldn't make blueprints, it looked good, and sounded great.
Using dollies borrowed from the staging department, a small group of brothers carefully wheeled the diazo machine through side streets and back alleys to the CBC building.
The Diazo Brothers now had their own diazo machine and could transport it anywhere, anytime, and bang on it as much as they liked.
The hiatus was over and the band went back on "tour", becoming more popular than ever.
The Beat Goes On
With creative contributions from the CBC costumes and props departments, the Diazo Brothers were dazzling in their stage ensemble of white tuxedo jackets, white shirts, black bow ties, and grass skirts.
Members of the CBC staging department provided security, hauled equipment, set-up the instruments, and performed mic checks before the band hit the stage. And, the effects department added drama to performances with smoke and fog machines.
The band performed at various venues and events, such as the opening of the Lonsdale Quay, a concert at Sunset Beach, a Downtown Eastside art gallery, The Arts, Science & Technology Centre, City Stage Theatre, Robson Square, Waterfront Theatre, The Vancouver Children's Festival, and the Menswear Department of The Bay.
The Diazo Brothers Band was also featured on CBC Television's "Dr. Bundolo's Pandemonium Medicine Show", CKVU Television, and on two nationally-aired CBC Radio shows, including a "serious" classical/contemporary music program.
The Diazo's expanding musical repertoire included covers of Henry Mancini’s “Theme to Peter Gunn”, Morris Albert’s “Feelings“, Leonard Bernstein's "America" from West Side Story, and Barry Mann & Cynthia Weil's "On Broadway".
The band also wrote original compositions such as, “Chester We Know You’re Out There”, “Agamoto's Christmas Rap“, "Pierre, Your Bath is Ready", and "Oh-Oh, Fast Eddie's Got The Whips, Stinks, and Jingles".
Probably, the band's greatest musical creations were forged after long, alcohol-and-controlled-substance-enhanced sessions when the Brothers just got together and jammed. Unfortunately, those sessions were never recorded.
Hot Vinyl
It soon became clear it was time for The Diazo Brothers Band to make professional recordings of their two biggest hits and release a record.
Pierre Tougas of RBC Radio produced and managed the recording sessions in the CBC Vancouver studios. Side A was, "Agamoto's Christmas Rap" and side B was, "Chester, We Know You're Out There".
As a sure-bet investment, Penny Gibbs, (John Willett's girlfriend at the time), fronted the band the $1,000 needed to produce the studio recordings and press the first 200 records.
It was a (not so) great success, with sales of just under 100 units. Penny lost money on her investment, but ended up marrying John, anyway.
Pierre Tougas was very supportive of the band, resulting in The Diazo's hit, "Pierre, Your Bath Is Ready", being written and recorded especially for him.
Less Is More?
A Children's Christmas concert in the CBC cafeteria was memorable for featuring "The World's Only Known Set Of 11 Identical Twins"... but with only 5 members of the Diazo Brothers Band performing. The kids didn't seem to notice, and loved it, anyway.
It was also the concert where the band added "Deck the Halls" to their musical repertoire, which helped them out of a sticky situation with a biker gang at a future event.
Midnight Show
One of my favorite performances was a midnight show at the Waterfront Theatre on Granville Island. We had our full stage costumes by this time, along with band roadies, security, and fog effects.
The theatre was full, and one of our musical numbers featured the "Bass Whazzoh", my instrument. John introduced me, and I slouched to the front of the stage, with as much artist-musician-angst I could muster, and announced, "This is a piece I wrote during those dark days back in Shaughnessy".
After a false start on my instrument, I looked up again and added, "It used to make us feel a little better". Then, after a short whazzoh solo, the rest of the band joined in.
It was marvelous!
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There was an unfortunate mishap before the show, and Glenn Patterson almost didn't make it to the theatre on time.
We were all at CBC, rehearsing for the performance, when we suddenly realized we were going to be late. To save time at the theater, we changed into our costumes and quickly loaded the diazo machine and other instruments into John Rix's truck.
Most of us drove to Granville Island in other cars, and the rest rode in the truck.
However, in the confusion and rush to leave, Glenn got left behind.
A few minutes later, Glenn was running across the old Cambie Street Bridge, towards the south side of False Creek and the Waterfront Theatre, wearing his white tuxedo jacket, white shirt, black bow-tie, and long grass skirt.
He made it on time.
Glenn, Kim, Floyd
Altamont II
The Diazo Brothers Band was booked to play an outdoor concert taking place in early summer on the grass fields next to Sunset Beach. This was a "real" concert with serious musicians like "Doc Fingers" and "The Powder Blues Band".
The Powder Blues Band was a Juno Award winner, and their first two albums went double platinum in Canada. John Willett later confessed there may have been a "misunderstanding" when they booked us.
As we unloaded the diazo machine and our other instruments, we had to carefully wind our way through a cluster of "choppers" parked beside the stage.
The organizer appeared, explaining there was a shared drum kit and amps on the stage for us to use. John kept saying, "We don't need those things". She asked what we played, and John showed her all the stuff we were unloading.
She was not impressed.
We were a little nervous when we saw a large group of "Satan's Angels" near the front of the stage, and thought there was a good chance they'd get angry and beat us up.
John asked the organizer about security, and she explained, "The bikers are the security". Altamont was 12 years earlier, maybe they'd forgotten how well that went.
We performed our set, and the bikers loved us! They even demanded an encore, but we had run out of music. Luckily, that past winter, the band had played at a kids Christmas concert in the CBC cafeteria, so we performed "Deck the Halls".
The bikers were happy with the encore, and we were able to safely leave the stage.
♦
After the performance, a woman came running up to us gushing about how much she loved our music, and compared the band to some famous (at the time) German group of experimental musicians/artists.
She was crazy, but I think she helped the band get a couple of their next gigs.
Gordon Craig, Director of Operations for CBC English Language Radio and TV, was a fan, and had asked us to play at several venues when we were first starting out.
In 1982, thanks to Gordon, the brothers were invited to perform at "The Presidents Dinner", being held that year at the Capilano Golf and Country Club.
The dinner was an annual event, hosting an elite group of presidents and CEO's from major corporations, coming together to dine with their wives.
A quote from John Willett: "We should point out that the Brothers had not one shred of musical talent. As well, we were somewhat shy, and a bit lazy. The only thing that got us on stage was a mix of alcohol, a bit of bullying, and the fear of embarrassing ourselves by not showing up once we found yet another sucker that wanted us to play... usually due to a misunderstanding about what our 'band' was."
When the scheduled performance time arrived, (between dinner and desert), the band rushed out of the kitchen and into the dining room, pushing the diazo machine in front of them on a dolly.
They played three numbers. The last number was especially impressive, featuring a dramatic ending with a small "bomb" exploding inside one of the larger instruments. (Thanks to John Sleep, a CBC special effects expert.)
The "bomb" created a bright flash, loud blast, billow of smoke, and a small fire in the middle of the large (expensive-looking) oriental rug we were performing on.
Several of the brothers nimbly stomped out the fire, making it look like part of the act.
After receiving a standing ovation, the band ran back to the kitchen with the diazo machine, and left the Country Club as quickly as possible.
Caught In The Act
One of the band's radio appearances was on CBC's "Variety Tonight", hosted by popular radio and television personality, Vicki Gabereau.
On the scheduled day, we transported the Diazo machine and all our instruments to the recording studio located on the lower level of the CBC building, and performed several pieces for the show.
During the interview segment, Vicki got into the spirit of things as John Willett elaborated on the "Diazo Creative Process", and explained how we beat the Diazo machine to generate unique sounds, along with all our other home-made instruments.
And, of course, he gave a detailed description of the band's humble origins. ("The World's Only Confirmed Set of 11 Identical Twins Discovered in an Armoire" version.)
After the interview was over, and while packing up the equipment, John, Glenn, and Ray came across a tall, cylindrical, metal ashtray in the recording studio that exhibited terrific sound properties. After a brief, whispered discussion they decided to appropriate the ashtray by hiding it inside one of our larger cardboard tube instruments.
When the "Diazo Brothers" interview aired nationally on CBC, we gathered round a radio and listened to the broadcast together.
It was a great success, but just before the program ended, we were surprised to hear the voices of John, Glenn, and Ray whispering something about stealing an ashtray.
Unknown to us at the time, the studio microphones were still hot when we were packing up, and the program director added the recorded "theft" to the end of the program.
We Be Artistes
The band was also featured on one of Canada's most highly-regarded classical and contemporary music programs airing on CBC Radio at the time. (Unfortunately, I can't recall the program title or the name of the host.)
As usual, we performed a few numbers in the recording studio, and John handled the interview segments.
Impressively, the host conducted one of the finest interviews of The Diazo Brothers Band, ever. Perhaps, he recognized the genuine creativity hiding behind the "wackiness" that we, ourselves, never saw.
I have to admit I felt a tinge of guilt about this radio episode. My composer/musician friend, John S. Gray, had been struggling for years to have his music recognized. And here we were, basically a "joke" band being featured on one of Canada's most highly respected music-radio programs.
Vancouver Children's Festival
The band was also a featured act at the Vancouver Children's Festival held in Vanier Park.
It was a little unusual for us to perform in front of families with young children, but we all had a blast and loved seeing how much the kids enjoyed our show. Their parents, on the other hand, may have been reasonably apprehensive about our sobriety.
At the time, I had an inexplicable crush on the children's entertainer, Gumboot Lollipop, and was always rushing to catch her act at other locations on-site when we weren't performing.
Vancouver Children's Festival
The One That Got Away
The tempo and dynamics of the percussion sections in the Diazo Brother's music, especially in their original compositions, was quite similar to that of another, internationally famous, Vancouver group.
The Brothers tried for months, but could never come to an agreement on the format of a "Battle of the Bands" concert to be held in front of The Bay, on the corner of Georgia and Granville streets, with the Hare Krishna crew.
It's a shame. It would have been a memorable event, and the Brothers were mostly confident they could have won the "Battle".
Turning It Up To Eleven
Now that the band was a huge success, having performed at various high-profile locations around Vancouver, as well as on television and radio, what else was there to do?
Some band members considered an appearance on the Johnny Carson Show as our next logical step. (Seriously).
Well, this was the early 80's, shortly after the birth of MTV, so it was only natural that the band decided to produce a music video!
All favors were called-in, all strings pulled, and all connections abused, to bring together a celebrity actor, dozens of extras and a full production crew with the cameras, lighting, and audio equipment necessary for the big shoot that took place, overnight, in the Tiki Bar of the Waldorf Hotel on East Hastings Street.
The Waldorf Hotel Photo: Jen Osborne
That night's shoot was an exciting and memorable experience for everyone involved!
Below is a rare copy of "Chester, We Know You're Out There", the rough-cut of the first (and only) music video by the Diazo Brothers Band.
Unfortunately, the music video never made it beyond this first rough-cut stage.
Not long after the video was shot, the band slowly started to break up, as many of its members left the CBC to work on feature films, television commercials, or to start their own design studios.
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On The Road Again?
The family ties are still strong, and over the years the brothers have made a point of getting together whenever possible, to reminisce, play some of the old tunes, and strategize over a possible reunion and comeback tour.
And now, with many of the "Diazos" retired or semi-retired, with plenty of free time on their hands, a reunion and comeback tour seems more likely than ever!
Tour dates will be posted here as soon as they become finalized.
